Home Shows, or is your TV broken?


People pay to go to these things!!!!


Maybe they like the idea that they cant buy anything, but they can see everything they might want.
Even and especially things they have never thought of needing. Yes, you can buy the crap they generally sell only on TV
Of course the price is higher here, because some poor soul does a song and dance to make you buy it right now!


You have to have a gimmick, a give away, a pitch, a pretty girl, something to make folks stop.
I am yet to know why I am supposed to want them to stop.I have never made a sale from a trade show.
That’s not really the worst of it. After spending hours trapped in a little false fronted booth
with samples and literature and free pens or candy and hearing sob stories and complaints about
the world in general that would make a veteran bartender want to quit,
I occasionally get someone who wants me to come out to their house. So far, after a year of doing this
I have not had one tradeshow contact keep their appointment….


Really, I dont mind, most trade show attendees seem to need a few more years of schooling to become thew “people of Walmart”
Five hours out of the middle of a Saturday.This is the prime of the week in the prime of my last chance at fatherhood.
If I didnt love the company I work forI would be bitter. As it is, I try to be amused.

If I wanted, I could slip away in a few minutes and catch the free seminar held by one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey!!!!
I have to admit, I would recognize her when I saw her. I might not remember her name. I know I would hate her.
I have watched several seasons over the top of my laptop. My wife is addicted.

I am racking my brain, trying to imagine what any of them could offer as information in a seminar, but then I
remember, not only did Paul Ryan and Sarah Palin get on a national presidential ticket,
there are still people who think they should have been at the top of the ticket!

I guess, if your TV is broken, and you can catch tacky infomercials and see a REAL Real Housewife,
and you are tired of mall waking, you can pay $5 to park, whatever admission is, and walk on the hard concrete floor for hours.


In fairness, I just met a couple who have a daughter in Harvard, he gave me some tips on getting my very smart white male son in.
“Sports,” he said. Lotta help that is my son would rather go to Walmart than play a sport… Yeah, its my day to pick on Walmart.

I mentioned that he played violin. He said that might help. He also suggested that I pull in every political favor I might.
So Celeste Bush, Donna Hart, Kathryn Hensley, Kimberly Mitchell, AW, Bill Bone, Chris Craft, Joe Smith, Joe Anthony, and everybody else I know
that ever thought about being politically active, in about 5 yrs, I will be coming for you.

It would be ironic if this guy from a trade show helped get my kid into Harvard…

I wonder if his TV was broken? Or does he even have a TV? Harvard and all…..



Cockleburs and Mosquitoes, a Poet’s Cookbook and Traveling Companion

Many years ago, when I first started publishing and selling my poetry, I thought I would right a book such as this. I dreamed of becoming wildly famous and gathering up my band of local poets, and touring the country. I especially wanted to take on the south, not just Atlanta, Birmingham, Jackson, Jacksonville, Memphis, Mobile, Montgomery, Nashville, New Orleans, and Tallahassee, not even just these towns and the college towns like Auburn, Macon, Gainesville, and Gainesville, Oxford, Tuscaloosa, Knoxville, Chattanooga, Hattiesburg, I wanted to go to Heidelberg, Tallassee, Lucedale, Dadeville, Sylacauga, Pell City, Gautier, Jasper, Dahlonega, Sylvester, Earle, West Helena.

I wanted to go to everywhere a two lane Federal Highway leads to some tiny public library where kids use the computers to do homework and play video games and then, just maybe walk home with a copy of Harry Potter or the Hunger Games in their hands as they kick the red or white clay dust into little clouds. These little places where cockleburs cling to your pants, and poke tiny holes in your fingertips when you try to remove them, these paper mill pine forests, these soy and cotton fields that go on forever without shade and the swampy little creeks the meander thru it all where mosquitoes buzz while their mates look for that one drop of mammalian blood to spawn a whole ‘nother generation of grass eating buzzing insects, this is where I wanted to bring poetry. This is where my heart lives.

I wanted to reach the next kid like me, coming up, drawing pictures and putting words down on paper. To reach him or her before they were told one too many times they were crazy and that they ought to do something useful and save the writing for school.
brenda head shot

Dr L
I never got there, not alone, not with my band of merry poets (some of whom are now deceased, including the two above, Breanda Black White and Dr. James Lancaster, god I miss them!). I remain a fairly obscure poet, with the exception of a couple of pretty amazing awards, that mean a lot to poets, and not much to anyone else.

I still work my day job. I write less poetry than I did twenty years ago. But I still dream of my now nearly geriatric band of poets, limping, or pushing walkers, with trifocals and sometimes creaky voices. And I know we will all finish getting old, or not. We will all die off, leaving a few thousand poems, combined, maybe one of us will be remembered in a generation, maybe someday a grad student will find a few of one of us’ poems and maybe that will lead to another and someday the world will know the entirety of the Night Heron Poets, or not. Either way, for a few years, we truly had our own sparkling city on a hill, our Camelot.

I wanted to share it with the world. For me, growing up in Alabama, being a poet was about like being gay. I didn’t know any other poets. I knew there were other poets. I had read a few poems, but for the most part, I was all alone. When I finally “came out” as a poet (no, I am not gay) and found a group of fellow crazy beautiful people who were also poets, it was like, for the first time, I had a real community.

I cant say it was like I had found my family, because, I had and have a family that is deep and wide. A family of food, of fishing, of college football, of hunting and camping and telling of tales, of bible thumping. I love them, at least most of them, dearly, only most of them did not give a whit for a poem, and not much more for a poet. So I wrote poems about them, about me, about us, but those poems are the poems everybody already knows. At least everybody who wants to know them. But I came alive when I found the other poets. I wanted to be a poetry missionary, spreading the word to those dusty little towns that you can write a poem if you want to.
Chris' old facade
So now, 30 years after my first chap book, I am gonna do this thing. If you want to help, jump in. You know a poet, a little BBQ joint, even one on a trailer on the side of the road, a fancy little coffee house in Mayberry, a French pastry shop in Pascagoula, a place like Chris’ in Montgomery, a Blue Dot, a dusty little library where you found a copy of Carolyn Kizer and fell in love with poetry. Tell me about it. I might use it in the book.

Blue Dot 2
(Blue Dot)

Deport the Red Man!!!

As many of you know, I am taking a fabulous course at Coursera.org from


Yale Law School called Constitutional Law The Professor is a great fellow by the name of Akhil Reed Amar
one of my fellow students started a thread like this. I am not using his name, because my purpose here is not to embarrass him, but to use his post as a jumping off point:

Undocumented (immigrates) Workers is difficult to embrace for me personally. I cannot understand how people who break the law by entering U.S. Soil; are given a waiver or abdication of sort while if I walk through certain neighborhoods in prestigious communities will be arrested and charged with trespassing, or even shot. I am more than likely going to get community service or probation concerning this charge. This offense will come down to a disorderly conduct charge that will stay on my record and that’s documented.

So I have an issue with people breaking the law regardless and am relinquished without any accountability. I realize immigrants contribute to the economy ….but people should be sent packing….

I replied:

i will resist the urge to ask you if english is your second language, but you might wanna work on it a bit. maye you are like me, and cant bear the conventions.

so passing on that, i will get to the core issue:

how is someone undocumneted if their family was here before the rest of us knew “here was here.” i agree europeans, africans, and most asians who are here without legal documentation are on thin ice, as were the founding fathers. none of the original settlers (the 100 million decendents of the immigrants who crossed the land bridge while the anglos, the saxons, the scots, the romans, the greeks and even the egyptians were wonder from cave to desert without written language or much in the way of intellegence to show for themselves) were “from here” but they had squatters rights long before leif or columbus or whichever boat full of pilgrims you wanna claim as original settlers left europe! and none of those european immigrants asked for permission to land, they came, they took, they destroyed, peoples and property and now you wanna know if those they displaced have a right of return against the great and fair and just laws the europeans drew up upon stealing and killing and destroying? really? if i came to your grandfathers house, raped and murdered most of your ancestors, but your father escaped and raised you in a far away place, and you grew to be a man and decided to return, should i be allowed to deport you on grounds of trespass?

show me a european who has documentation that he has a right to live on this indian land (documentation given to him by they rightful owners, not other europeans drawing up imaginary deeds to things they dont own), then i will ask the indian from mexico or peru to show me his documentation. how can so many americans not only be so stupid, but so evil? if you benefit from murder and theft of property, what right do you have to complain if the victims family tries to survive on the land that was theirs by right?

I am happy to report most of the class seems to be a bit more enlightened than this fellow, though a couple are still trying to justify the Civil War from the high moral ground of the Southern States.

Anyway, please let me know what i am missing on the point of these horrible, dangerous and highly immoral illegal immigrants, no not the english, i mean the red man. and by the way, the course is still open and completely free. i would recommend it to any and all!!!!