Wanna Rewrite the Bible?

As usual, I had a thought, almost a joke of a thought, but then I realized I was serious. I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the Christian Bible. I was raised on it. It was my primary source document for literature, for THE TRUTH, for pretty much everything. I had read it through before I had read any great author besides maybe Mark Twain.

I loved the King James Version. I loved Jesus. Eventually, I became an atheist, this happened while I was at God’s Bible College in Cincinnati, of course. The problem is, not so much for me, because I look at the Bible as some beautiful poetry, some great stories, and generally a pretty good philosophy of life, that is sadly, not what modern Christianity is about for too many Christians.

But that is neither here nor there, except, that for millions of people, having a modern version of the Bible is critical. There are a dozen modern versions, with varying accuracy to the original texts, or at least what we think was the original texts. I cant vouch for their accuracy, nor do I particularly care. My problem is that none of them have held onto the beauty of the language. Some of what makes the King James Version appealing is that it is OLD! 1611 was over 400 years ago, so it is the literary version of walking into an old European cathedral. But it is also a work of art, for the most part, and the modern versions are about as concerned with beauty and creativity as an Ikea instruction manual.

It seems to me, a properly motivated group of good modern poets and short story writers with help from a team of theologians and language experts could stay close enough to the meaning to not offend the average Christian and yet create something as beautiful as wicked ole King James commission way back when.

I have no funds, no experience in this, other than being a poet who spent a long time with his nose in the KJV. To hire a dedicated and skilled team would cost between $3 – $10 million and take 1-5 years.

I have about $12.00 to spare, and I could bite off a few of the 800,000 words (plus the 130,000 in the Apocrypha. Just wondered if this project appeals to anyone else in this group, enough to see if we can do it, and if we want to, does anyone have any idea about funding?bibles a stack


2 thoughts on “Wanna Rewrite the Bible?”

  1. Like you, I was raised on the King James Bible. In college I decided to find out for myself exactly what the Bible did and didn’t say. So I got up a little bit early every morning to read chapter. I was glad when the chapters were short. I read the Bible all the way thru, from “In the beginning” of Genesis to the last “Amen” of Revelation. I realized that you could argue almost anything from the Bible, especially if you cherry picked your verses to prove your point. My favorite reference ended up being Isaiah 20:2&3.

    Right now I’m busy compiling a rhyming dictionary, so I don’t have time for your translation project. I agree with you the beautiful language is worth keeping. Perhaps atheists would make the best translators. They wouldn’t be writing to prove their own denomination’s point of view.

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